


A Christmas Turkey

by Unicornsfartglitter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Ass stuffing, Christmas, Crack?, Cracky, Fisting, M/M, Spanking, anal insertion, turkey insertion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 15:24:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17266667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Rick hates turkey so Negan makes his ass eat it instead





	A Christmas Turkey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DiqazonQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiqazonQueen/gifts).



> I’m terrible I know but I finally did it!

Rick closed the door and rubbed at his aching neck, it had been a long day despite it being a short shift. He grumbled when he sniffed roasted turkey with all the trimmings, they had just ate all this shit at Thanksgiving and he was working a twelve hour shift tomorrow for Christmas so he assumed when he told Negan no Christmas dinner he would listen. Hell, even the kids were gone to the grandparents so it would be thrown out much like the leftovers of their last feast.

“What’s shakin’ bacon?” Negan popped out his ass.

And yeah, bacon sounded so much better.

“Turkey again?”

“Listen baby I hear you the four times a year you allow a turkey to enter the house, you hate them. It’s bland and dry. Blah, blah, blah.”

“Yet you still insist on cooking one knowing Carl will make a few sandwiches and Judith will slip the rest to the neighbors dog.” Rick grumbled.

“Baby.” Negan explained.

Rick loosened the collar of his uniform, it always sent a tingle up Negan’s spine and he gulped. 

“Don’t. You're not getting any of this.” Rick raked his arms down showing himself off and doing a little seductive twirl.

It took awhile but after that dumb twit Lori cheated on him and left him high and dry Negan slowly helped him gain confidence only for the bitch to crawl back two years later but Rick was wiser and quickly showed her ass the door.

“You haven’t even seen dessert.” Negan assured him with a smirk.

“Pumpkin pie? Red velvet cake? That's the only dessert you get after making me a turkey.” Then Rick swayed his ass as he walked away.

Of course Negan being Negan rushed to the kitchen entrance to watch that ass walk up the stairs.

“I'll show him.” Negan said as he turned off the oven and took out a casserole.

The turkey was ready to be carved but knowing Rick didn’t care about traditions such as Negan standing at the head of the table and slicing it he just took it to the kitchen table, staring at the juicy skin of a roasted turkey, it was a golden brown it somehow made him want some ass, the turkey’s ass wasn’t Rick’s perky one though. His was pale and perfect.

Rick deep breathed and took a short shower, He would eat the veggies and leave all the heavy sides and turkey for Negan, he might would even make his husband to eat it all himself then he felt bad for being so hard. Negan worked too and sure, his hours were set and it made it easier but Rick always came home to a clean house and home cooking. Judith was cared for and treated like Negan’s own because she was. Lori hadn't seen the kids in ages and that was for the best and it didn't take long for Carl to start calling Negan pops. He had to eat that damn turkey. Damn it.

His feet hit the bottom of the steps and he heard music start, it was too loud. Brick house to be exact. Rushing to the dining room he saw Negan in nothing but an apron singing loudly and off cue into a spoon, at some point he turned around and bent over the table exposing his hole as he jiggled his ass and spanked it.

“Negan at the dinner table? Really?”

He tried to maintain his composure and not laugh as Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off started and Negan kept up the dancing and off tune lyrics.

The song finished as Rick watched unaroused. Negan had gathered cranberry sauce into his hands and licked it up slowly, gobbled up some stuffing with those same hands and even smeared broccoli and cheese on his tits and fucking winked.

“Well geesh if I was into sploshing I’d be having a bloody good ‘ole time.” Rick faked his best British accent and sat down.

“Didn’t like my show?” Negan asked as he slammed down a pumpkin pie and made a hole in the center of it

“Don’t be vulgar Negan.” Rick threatened.

Negan could get petty, real petty and he wasn't sure what was supposed to be the outcome. Did Negan really expect him to get hard after some bad singing and food porn?

Rick crossed his arms across his chest and puffed out his lungs when he saw his husband pull up his apron and slide his dick across the pie.

“At least don’t be an amateur, take off the apron Negan.” Rick challenged.

In odd insecurity Negan cocked his head to the side but then that glint returned and he took off the apron and mostly thrusted into the pie.

“I know I don't save people for a living Rick the prick but I do take care of you. Our kids and not only that I buried the fucking hamster that died last week because you couldn’t do it.”

He remembered, Judith was a mess. Negan gave Mr. Squeaky a eulogy fit for a human burial and even decorated the shoe box to resemble a nice coffin.

“I know Negan.” His voice softened.

“Do you?” Negan thrust into the pie harder and damn, Rick licked his lips because Negan’s shaft was swelling, his voice trembling with euphoria. “I know what I gave up. I only go to the bar once a year with Simon and Dwight. It was worth the trade but excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to make you Christmas dinner.”

“Negan I’m sorry.”

“No!” Negan screamed and lathered his dick in whip dream and hissed before pumping into the pie more. “This is the only fucking I get tonight so leave me be!”

Rick loved Negan but he could be a man child, so theatrical so he hummed, since he was with Negan sex was never vanilla but this could get awkward. instead he closed his eyes, counted to ten the dragged his chair behind Negan to at least get a view of that glorious ass ramming into the only thing he would have actually eaten of this meal.

By now Rick would usually be begging with sorry’s or making a deal, like to suck Negan’s cock every day for two weeks or take the kids to school in the morning for awhile but instead Rick just got roudy.

“Oh yeah baby fuck that pie like you mean it!” Rick whistled and it didn’t sound fake.

Negan heard Rick stutter and that only meant Rick was jerking off which Rick did love his ass but he rarely got to admire it or play with it so a show like this probably would arouse him. Just because he didn’t like his ass touched didn't mean he didn’t like the idea of Rick jacking off to it so he spread his ass cheeks and exposed his pink puckered hole and listened. To silence that is.

“Oh yeah now you can stop whining?” Negan gritted out.

Rubbing the head of his dick which was lathered in cool whip and pumpkin he came hard into the messy shell, most of the the pie was on the table now.

“Stop!” Negan commanded.

Rick didn’t even have to ask what as he stopped jerking and swallowed thickly. Negan owned the bedroom, owned him.

“Hands under the seat.”

Rick pinched on the seat, his fingers staying firmly underneath it as he dick stood hard and erect but he couldn't help but laugh and the orange pie filling coating Nega’s shaft.

“Think this is funny?” Negan ran a finger up his dick and licked off the remnants swallowing it down.

“Well.” Negan yanked on Rick’s growing curls admiring his hissing. “Clean daddy off.”

Rick bent over darling not to move his hands and licked up the pie, sucking on Negan’s tip and hollowing out his cheeks sucking him off along with every last bit of sweetness.

“So good to me baby but you can be better.”

“I can.” Rick agreed.

“Since this meal was a waste of my time and I got off with pie why don’t you be a good little boy and cum?”

Rick dick twitched and he nodded in anticipation.

“So.” Negan rubbed at his chin and contemplated. “My dick got the pie. How about your ass get the turkey?”

“Tur..turkey?”

Negan smirked and went around the table and grabbed the turkey dumping it off the Christmas platter and onto a chair that would be easy to clean.

“Sit on it.”

“What?” Rick asked weakly.

“Rick, Ricky boy it’s an eight pounder. Be lucky I didn’t go with my usual twenty pounds and...that it’s cooked.”

Rick shuddered imaging a frozen turkey going up his asshole. If he said no Negan would push him anyways, it was always consent with him but the devilish gleam in his eyes told Rick that he would have talked him into it just like he would be gobbling these eight pounds up.

“I umm. Maybe we should eat it.”

Negan swayed over to him, naked as can be and pet his hair before bracing his arms on the chair and clamping down on his still hidden hands.

“Rick.” He whispered. “You can do it, what I’ve done to that ass so far. It’s just gonna be another one checked off the list.”

Rick stared into his eyes, watched Negan lick his lips and then took in the golden hue of the turkey, it appeared to glint from the overheard light and hmm, maybe getting off with a turkey would be more fun then eating it. Of course it would because turkey was dry and gross.

“Can I get up?” As always Rick asked for permission when things got sexual.

Happy as a clam Negan grimjed. “Sure baby.” 

Rick stood up and looked at the turkey and undressed. Draping his arms across the table he moaned out.

“You gotta loosen me up real good first Negan.”

Negan thinking there would be more resistance ran up the stairs fade getting lube and something else special, he smeared lube onto his fingers as he ran back to his husband. Rick’s tight ass was speared out and he pushed two fingers into the hilt and as Rick bucked back he added a third widening out his fingers and pressing in deeper stretching Rick’s walls.

“That’s another reason why I love you so much baby, you never tell me no.” Negan bit on his ear and spanked his ass.

Rick growled and pumped back chasing more fingers moaning when a fourth breached him and Negan layered more lube on his other hand and stretched him out further.

“So pink and wide, I wish I could make time to eat your out.”

“Why don't’ you then?” Rick breathed out heavily.

“Because. Because I wanna see you cum from a turkey up your ass.” Negan bit into his shoulder.

A heavy dildo dropping on the table had Rick leaking and Negan slicked it up allowing him to watch, it made him moan out and grip the table, it was his favorite of the bigger toys, the thought of his it made him feel like his walls would bust open had him panting.

“I didn't’ hear you got upstairs.”

“You know l’m quick when I wanna be baby.” 

His neck was attached in wet deep kisses, bruises littering his skin anywhere Negan’s teeth and lips could touch and he bucked back as the tip of the toy was inserted into his tight heat. He was stretched so far it went in halfway with no resistance and Negan coated his fingers in slick and buried his hand deep within Rick. He hollered at knuckles breaching his entrance and slinking in further, Negan’s hand pumped in and out creating a satisfying slick sound as he sank in and out. 

Negan grayed out and slapped Rick’s ass as he thursted against the base of the thick red dildo and submerged it fully into Rick’s ass sliding it in and out in a series of wet, deep thursts that had Rick pumping his pinkening ass back to take more and more.

Rick shook and sighed out and Negan knowing what that meant pinched his dick and pulled the toy out. “Uh oh. Turkey. Sit. On. It.” Negan demanded.

Turning to Negan whose hand never left his dick causing it to soften he was led to the chair where he stretched his cheeks and pressed his gaping hole onto the the turkey moaning at the absurdity of sitting on a turkey.

The top of the turkey was quickly swallowed by his ass and he rocked on his feet allowing more of the savory turkey to slip in, groaning as it wouldn’t fit.

“Come on darling, try harder. You've taken butt plugs nearly that size.”

‘Nearly.” Rick gritted out but changed angles pressing his ass toward the front of the turkey.

Rick still moaned at the intrusion, his walls taking in what it could of it’s offering.

“There’s no way Negan.” Still he groaned because when his hole stretched he ached in need.

“Sit up, I’ll make it easier on you.” Negan pulled Rick up and looked down at the turkey.

He broke off the wings and drumsticks then winked at Rick. ”My boy can take it now.”

“That’s just a few inches Negan!” Rick yelled in frustration.

“It’s enough my angel.” Negan tone turned down an octave and he jerked his dick eyeing Rick up in trust. “You can do it.”

Rick spread his cheeks and slid down further on the turkey groaning and feeling himself swell, full of wasted meat. It felt too good, Negan pumped his dick that slid easily as he leaked more. Groaning Rick thrusted up and down pushing more of the white meat in and biting his lips. He would never let Negan down and he grinned as he watched Negan eye him hungrily. It was no longer about shoving an entire turkey up his ass but instead getting off and he rocked up and down into Negan's working hands, fingers that circled his weeping slit.

He froze at a pop and looked down realizing it was the sound of the turkey pushing in and out of his outer sphincter, his rim swallowing it in and out.

“Youd did it baby!” Negan cheered like he won the superbowl.

“Now turn around, I need evidence.”

“Negan.”

“Come ono you know this is one for the spank bank.” Negan reasoned pulling out his phone.

Shivering at Negan’s enthusiasm and maybe a little proud himself Rick allowed Negan to help him up and he crawled on the chair and showed off his full ass.

“Damn Ricky i think you enjoyed being stuffed more than the turkey.” Negan snickered out but jerked himself as a series of flashes lit the room.

“Come on baby push it out real good for me.”

Bracing the chair Rick rolled his eyes and pushed pausing when need be and he felt Negan pad at his rim and inner walls helping the turkey slid out, he groaned when the turkey landed to the floor in a loud thud.

Negan only allowed himself a moment to appreciate Rick’s wide and reddened ass, it was ruined for sure before he chuckled darkly.

“Did you just cum from pushing out a turkey?”

“No…” Rick lied trying valiantly to clean away white with his hands but Negan grabbed him.

He grimaced when Negan pumped his flaccid cock trying to make him quiver and then turned the camera to the evidence of his misdeed.

“Fuck that’s hot.” Negan grayed out zooming in on Rick’s seed.

“Negan you said camera.”

“No I didn’t and photos? Videos? It’s still a camera.” Ngan smirked and sauntered over to Rick.

“Rick could only grin madly as Negan paned back the phone to take a final shot of them making out like teenagers, Negan’s tongue plunging down his throat.

“Well.” Rick nibbled on Negan’s lip. “That’s one way to make good use of a turkey.”

“It wasn’t too dry when it was gobbled up from the other side am I right?”

“Negan.” Rick warned with no malice.

Damn did he love this man, kinks and all.

**Author's Note:**

> At least it wasn’t 20 pounds like my original idea. See? I can be kind to Rick’s ass!


End file.
